i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
