Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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