Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
