I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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