ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize