"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
