apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
