I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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