So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
