how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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