guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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