I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize