if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
this will be a night to untag.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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