I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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