Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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