we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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