Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
