if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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