Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
