I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
