How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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