Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
