Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
