I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
