just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
