Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize