She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
