You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
