Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
