she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
