i can't believe i had my finger in that
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
