google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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