is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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