he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
