girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
