I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize