well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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