Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
