Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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