Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize