dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
