He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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