I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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