let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
