I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
BRING THE BAGELS
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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