it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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