Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
