So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
