He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My pussy is not your playground.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
