I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
