Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
