Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
