when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
