some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just took my morning after pill in the library
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
