I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
