CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
