we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
