I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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