sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
What a fucking waste of an outfit
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
