I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
